Wednesday, April 15, 2015

A Note to Future Brides

My time as a bride was so amazing - I took it all in, made the most of it and enjoyed every second. 
(well mostly, as any bride knows it is a little stressful)
My time as a wife is even better.

Dear Future Brides,

Embrace the planning
It might be a little hectic now but you've waited a long time to be a bride - enjoy the planning steps, that is a huge part of it.  When you don't feel like stuffing another invitation or doing another DIY project, remember this is just one phase of your life that only comes once.  Enjoy it while you're doing it.  It will probably be less overwhelming and stressful if you are happy while you tackle you're never ending to do list.

Use calendars.  Use to do lists.  Use as many as possible.  There are SO many things to remember, dates to remember, tasks to ask people to do to remember, etc.  I had a master list for our entire engagement and then a list for each month and as something came to me, I'd just jot it down on that month's list and not worry about it until the first of the month when I reviewed the list.  It help keep me organized.  And sane. 

There's more to life than the wedding
Just because you're getting married and it's the most important time to date of your life, doesn't mean everyone cares as much as you do.  Don't get me wrong, everyone is super supportive and interested in what's going on but I liked to always make sure to return the question and ask what's going on in their lives, what's new, etc. Now family is another story - talk their ears off! Ha, kidding! sort of.  My family was so great with the wedding process and never got bored of talking about it.

Date nights without wedding talk.  It's nice to continue enjoying each other without the wedding talk, make sure not to forget that.

Stick to your opinions
The day you become a bride, everyone is going to have an opinion on what you need to have, how to decorate, what food to serve, songs to pick, etc.  Definitely listen to the opinions of the people closest to you that you value their opinion,  but don't let other people's opinions get to you.  It's YOUR big day, do it your way and don't worry about a thing.

Go with your first instinct 
If there's something you can't stop thinking about - just go with that choice and do it.  You can probably change it later on but it'll be easier for you if you just commit from the start.

There is a perfect wedding day.  Without the perfection
With so much going on, something is bound to go not exactly as you expect it to.  Most likely, nobody as all is going to notice what you're unhappy with.  Just prepare for something to not go off exactly as planned. If it's something that really bothers you  take a couple minutes, a deep breath and a big sip of champagne, get over it and move on to enjoy your big day.  Nothing can bring you down - you're marrying your best friend.  There are some things you just have no control of.  Don't let one little thing cause the day not to be perfect.  It's your day - it will be perfect for you.

Leave the wedding week open
Once you hit the wedding month - it's hopefully time to enjoy - but especially the wedding week - do not schedule a lot.  You'll most likely have a final dress fitting, beauty appointments, a venue walk through, etc.  But the little things like welcome bags, DIY projects, centerpieces, any unnecessary appointments - schedule at least two weeks before. The week before our wedding was probably the calmest week in the  planning process - we went away to the lake for the holiday weekend, had a date night out, family dinner, welcomed our friends into town a night early and  e n j o y e d  the excitement and anticipation.  If I  could pick any tip to especially pay attention to, it would be this one.

That day.  The day.  Your big day.
Plan the ceremony to start 10 minutes later than what's on your invitation.  Not to mention getting both the male and female bridal parties to the church but all the guests have to arrive to! I've learned that some guests are definitely going to take the start time on the invitation as the time to arrive to the church or venue.  Giving yourself a couple extra minutes will help you stay on track.  For example - the invitation says the ceremony starts at 3pm - have it set up with the vendors, bridal party, etc. that you, the bride, will walk down the aisle at 3:10 - this will definitely help stay on track.

Don't let it pass you by.  You'll probably go crazy with the amount of people that tell you "the day is a blur" but it really is! The best thing we did was sit down at our sweetheart table for less than five minutes and just sat, sipped a drink and  w a t c h e d  our family and friends having so much fun.  It always sticks out in my mind when I remember the day as well as a couple other times we took to just catch our breath.  (someone actually walked up to our table and said why aren't you dancing, it's your day -- little did they know how much we were enjoying ourselves).

Definitely get a pair of flip flops the same height as your heels - nobody can see your feet at the reception and you're going to want to be comfortable dancing.  Make sure to get the same height as your heels so your dress doesn't drag.

Don't expect to have a pep in your step the next day
A wedding dress is a heavy dress to wear.  A big bouquet of flowers are heavy to hold.  High heels are going to hurt your feel.  You'll probably be running on little sleep.  Your throat might hurt from all the talking (I lost my voice!).  Don't expect to wake up the day after your wedding feeling like a million bucks.  If your leaving immediately for your honeymoon, maybe don't plan anything your first day away - if you have a day to spare, definitely enjoy that extra day at home.  We had all our friends and family still in town over for a low key BBQ.

Being a wife is better than being a bride
After the huge excitement of the wedding, it might be a slight let down that all the activity is over.  That won't last long (if at all) because being a wife is so much better than being a bride.  It's the best.  And besides - you can have your new husband refer to you as his bride for the rest of your life, I love that.


  1. these are excellent tips! i've never been married, so i appreciate any tips (yes, i'm still holding out hope, lol)

  2. I agree with you--being a wife is so much better than being a bride. You've got your lifelong companion to share everything with, not just plan for one day. I also love the advice that there's more to life than the wedding. So many people get SO wrapped up in their wedding day that it overwhelms their lives, and even sometimes changes them (people can get really conceited and self involved). I definitely agree that it's important to realize there's a life outside of the wedding planning, and to go on dates that DONT involve wedding talk!
    Great post, friend!! :)

  3. You're so right -- being a wife is so much better than being a bride. I loved my wedding day, but I have loved every day since more. I absorbed the stress of planning in the worst way, and I wish I could go back and re-do that part of it. Love all of these tips!

    Leaving the week of the wedding open -- yes, yes, yes. This tip over and over. I did this unintentionally, and was so glad that it happened like it did!

  4. Awe, this was so sweet! I definitely agree with you on everything, too, especially taking a few minutes during the reception to soak it all in. Ryan and I had a moment right before our intro where we just looked at each other and said "we are married!" It's something from the day that I'll never forget and is special since nobody else witnessed it.

  5. Love this! I was such a bad bride haha! I wasn't bridezilla or anything, I just didn't really care about any of the planning process. I wish I could do it all over again and do it like I would want now but oh well! It was still a beautiful day and I love the memories! And I agree, being a wife is definitely better than being a bride! :)

    <3, Pamela
    Sequins & Sea Breezes

  6. I love being a wife far more than being a bride! People put so much emphasis on that one day, but in reality, there's so much more to happen!

  7. This was such a great post!!! I loved being a bride and like you said, love being a wife even more!! :)xo, Biana - BlovedBoston

  8. What a great post, it's all so true. Too many brides worry about things and not the marriage and it's tough to deal with the negative talk all the time. It's crazy how many brides turn in to me, me, me and it's sad that a wedding makes them so spoiled.

    Marriage is amazing. I loved my wedding day but I love my marriage even more.

  9. I totally agree---being a wife is WAY better than just a bride :) Great post!!!

  10. Amen to everything you said!! And definitely being a wife is WAYY better and WAYY more fun!

  11. These are great tips and I completely agree with everything especially "Being a wife is better than being a bride" Being a wife is my favourite title!

  12. Yes yes yes! I love the one that says being a wife is better than being a bride. I think most women lose sight of the fact that they are becoming a wife. Some are really let down after the wedding, but that's when all the fun begins.

  13. This is such a great list!! And I love and share your perspective- being a bride is so much fun and worth enjoying every second, but being a wife is SO MUCH BETTER! This post definitely made me reminisce :) Love it!!

  14. This is such a great list! One of my best friends is getting married at the end of the year and I am sending her the link right after I post this comment - ha! You have so much wisdom my sweet friend!! :-)

  15. This was so helpful, thank you! I'm getting married next month and hadn't even thought about the ceremony start time :-)

  16. This letter is so sweet. I love all the tips you shared, and it just gets me that much more excited for married life. I really love the leave the wedding week open tip; I hadn't thought of that before..but it makes a lot of sense. I love the pictures in this post too!